Hello Fellow Parent, and Welcome!
I’m getting whiplash watching the news, as I’m sure you are too. Struggles between colleges and the federal administration are deflecting attention away from students. I want to use this newsletter to bring the attention back where it belongs: your kid. If your child is applying to college soon…
Your kid is confused.
Is Harvard still good?
It’s impossible to get in anywhere—but somehow the people around me are getting in.
What are my chances?
Be yourself and it will work out.
Sell yourself to colleges and don’t count on getting in.
The news is topsy turvy. It’s too much for us, and it’s much too much for your teenager’s partially developed brain to process all these conflicting messages.
It really will work out, but don’t you just want to scream when someone says “calm down” about it? You and your kid are allowed to feel your feels without people shaming you. Then use the de-stressing tools I embedded month-by-month in College Admissions Cracked that hopefully will help in some small way.
Your kid is comparing her worthiness to her peers’.
Your child is comparing herself to everyone around her, and everyone she hears about, and coming up short in her mind.
And you may be thinking, my kid is the best, but she hasn’t founded a Fortune 500 company or become a household name as an influencer. How can she compete?
Answer: she doesn’t have to compete. She has her own unique gifts to contribute to the world, and her job while writing her application is to spend her time figuring out what they are rather than fretting about what she’s not.
Your kid may be more on top of college admissions than you think (or not, and that’s okay).
The high school may have held meetings for students that you don’t know about or provided students with guidance for the school’s college admissions portal. Your child may have already asked teachers for recommendations without your knowledge. Or he may have ignored thinking about his future to this point.
He is where he is. The great news is your kid is not behind, and neither are you.
There’s plenty of time to organize before the first applications are due in the fall. Hold a family meeting, gather intel, and make a plan. I included family meeting agendas in College Admissions Cracked for this very reason.
Your kid is probably anxious.
Author and social psychologist Jonathan Haight calls students now The Anxious Generation for good reason. COVID struck during important developmental years, students today are worried the planet won’t last for their lifetime, and then there’s every day teenaged angst that is very real and huge to them. Remember how a bad grade or a breakup or a championship loss felt when you were a teenager?
Some kids feel milder anxiety, and others are clinically depressed or paralyzed with anxiety and need professional help. In all versions of anxiety and depression, your kid needs you to listen. He needs to feel your support in his bones and for you to remind him he’s not alone, even if he’s treating you less than optimally (as teenagers can do).
Sanity Saver: Optimism
I believe that higher education in America will weather this storm (and be okay); your kid will have a great college experience if she goes after it wherever she lands (and be okay); and maybe some of this upheaval will bring change for the good (everything will be okay!).
In the meantime, listen to your heart over anything you hear in the “breaking” news. You know best what’s important to you (your kid, your own health and your loved ones’, your personal values), and the hyped-up media does not.
Warmly,
Jill
