Hi Fellow Parent, and Welcome!
This is the time of year when seniors have applied to colleges and are waiting for college notifications to come in. Juniors are starting to feel like they’re the next contestants on Naked and Afraid.
All high school upperclassmen (and many an underclassman, as well) have a common worry:
What if I’m not enough?
Some variations on the theme:
What if I’m not smart enough?
What if I haven’t done enough extra–curricular activities?
What if I’m not accomplished enough?
What if my test scores aren’t high enough?
What if my grades aren’t good enough?
What if I’m not perfect enough (or as perfect as Theresa or Jasmine or Lou)?
And parents are asking, What if I haven’t done enough for my child to get into the college of their dreams?
Just in case you’ve felt like you should be doing more and better, I have great news for you. Like your child, you are enough.
If you have kept your kid alive from helpless infant through reckless toddler, through a pandemic, through twelve years of school to this point when they are applying (or have applied) to college, you are an above average parent. Over 40% of the teenagers in this country never apply to college. You’re also doing enough if your kid is considering not making college their next step. Any stigma is gone for students who need a gap year or want to explore pathways into adulthood that do not involve college—a pandemic silver lining.
I know you want to be the perfect parent because we all do. Every protective nucleotide in our DNA is released the first time we hold our baby in our arms. But if perfection is what you’re striving for, it’s time for an awakening.
Sanity Saver
Ditch the idea of perfect.
You will feel so much lighter and happier when you embrace the reality that you are a good enough parent, and your child is a good enough student for a wonderful college experience to become a reality for him. Look no further than Laurie Loughlin as a reminder of where the quest for perfect parenting can go astray.
I know you’ve heard me say this before if you’ve been following me for a while, but it bears repeating at this fragile time: It’s not hard to get into college. I’ll provide back-up in case you’re cocking your head right now like a dog hearing an unfamiliar high-pitched noise.
A Majority of U.S. Colleges Admit Most Students Who Apply, Pew Research Center.
It’s Becoming Easier to Get In, The Hechinger Report covering education.
College Admissions Cracked: Saving Your Kid (and Yourself) From the Madness, the book I wrote that will help you feel bathed in relief from page one.
Please pay it forward
I’m writing my next book, with the working title College Essay Confidence, and I want every student who picks it up to receive exactly what they need to write a knockout personal essay for their college application. Do you and your child have advice about what would help make the essay-writing process easy, efficient, meaningful, and stressless?
I’d so appreciate it if you contact me here with any wisdom you can offer. Believe it or not, your child’s and your good enough are extremely valuable to the students on deck for writing their college essays next.
Warmly,
Jill
