Hello Fellow Parent, and Welcome!
There are a million colleges and universities out there. Admittedly, I exaggerate; it’s more like 4000+ here in the U.S., but it might as well be a million when you need to funnel them down to just one. I’ve realized that for most families, the same two main priorities apply at the beginning of the college search and also at decision-making time at the end. So I’m devoting this month’s newsletter to those two essential priorities and using tech to demystify them.
Priority #1: Can we afford this college?
Both at the beginning and end of the college search, the notion of affordability rears its head. Though some families are prepared to pay for anywhere their child wants to go, for most families, paying for college is a make-or-break concern.
Quick links to resources to assess affordability
- Erika’s Financial Aid Calculator. From my website, this free download can help you assess actual numbers.
- My book, College Admissions Cracked: Saving Your Kind (and Yourself) From the Madness, goes into more detail about how to estimate true sticker price before you rule out colleges (privates can be cheaper than the state school if you qualify for aid).
- Ron Lieber’s excellent book, The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Roadmap for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make is both eye-opening and practical.
- Here’s a super-helpful overview of how to read financial aid award letters that you’ll receive at the same time as college acceptances.
Discussions about money can be difficult for anyone. If that discussion hasn’t happened in your family quite yet, there’s no time like the present.
Salient financial points to bring up with your kid:
- Loans to pay for college will be in the student’s name, not the parents’ name. Let that sink in.
- Travel costs money. Beyond tuition, room, and board, airplane tickets and transport to and from the airport add up. It’s an often-overlooked factor to consider.
- Lifestyle costs are not covered by loans. The hidden costs of participating in Greek life, clubs, teams, updating tech/electronics, and entertainment (especially in a city) can add up.
Priority #2: The student’s hopes and dreams
I’m being real here (I will always be real with you). Once affordability (a family affair) is established, your kid’s wish list for the college where they will live and study takes precedence over your wish list for them. That’s where bending AI to your child’s will comes into play.
Try using AI to assist your child’s college search and college choice.
Does this sound radical? I mean, college choice is such a personal decision! Yet so often, the college search begins and ends based only on colleges the student and parents have heard of (the media and rankings lists have made sure of it). No shame, but notoriety is not a quality that will help your kid feel at home once she lands in her freshman dorm room or support her growth. AI can add an element of objectivity, as robots do, so I figure this is a perfect moment to use AI’s capabilities to support your child’s desires! Here’s how:
At the beginning of the college search, before planning a spring break mega tour limited to colleges/universities everyone has heard of, request your kid do some soul searching. Prompt your child to think about academic factors they want in their future college, and qualities like big or small, urban or rural, included in the chart on p.70 of College Admissions Cracked.
- Ask your kid to make a wish list of 5-10 qualities his future college will offer.
- Type the wish list into a chatbot (I had better luck with ChatGPT than Copilot FYI) in the form of Give me a list of colleges that have (add the priorities on the wishlist).
- Before you hit return, add to that list “higher than 30% acceptance rate.” This part is important to include to generate schools neither of you have thought of yet.
- Use this list as a place to begin your real, human research on colleges you had not considered before, as well as those you had. Use AI as your assistant but don’t trust the details it spits out. Visit each college’s website for correct facts, and if possible visit IRL for the vibe.
At the end, when all the notifications have rolled in (happening soon for seniors), it can be hard to separate which college will look good to other people from which college is best for your kid.
- Encourage your kid to return to her original wish list. Ask her to revise it based on what she knows now that she did not know junior year (or create a wish list if none exists).
- Ask AI Out of the following colleges and universities (type in the colleges/universities where she’s been admitted), which one has the best (type in the top 5-10 priorities).
- Keep in mind, “best” is relative. Move beyond viewing famous colleges as the “best” colleges where your kid was admitted, while considering the less well-known colleges second-rate. This is a personal decision, not a one-size-fits-all college rankings list.
- Add human feelings. Ironically, impersonal AI can help make the college decision less prestige-based and more based on personal priorities. But of course, AI cannot factor in feelings, a crucial link to landing on the best fit college campus.
Sanity Saver
Here’s a split-second fix when decision-making pressure becomes a downward spiral into anxiety (it happens to the best of us).
Say out loud, I am excited!
Fun fact:Anxiety and excitement seem like opposite emotions, but they are really close cousins. Both are aroused emotions (sweaty palms, heartbeat pumping), but anxiety can hold you back, while excitement can enhance your performance by 20% according to a study by Dr. Alison Woods Brooks.
As another fun fact, quick anxiety busters like this one (hand-picked for the abbreviated teen attention span) will appear in my new book, College Essay Confidence (2026).
Bonus Sanity Saver: Say “I am excited,” and then sing along better than usual to Don’t Stop Believin’ used in Dr. Brooks’ study.
This is an exciting time for you and your kid! Try using AI to help eliminate some ingrained biases when searching for and choosing a college. Then ultimately, your child can add feelings back into the mix when ready to make a choice. Please contact me if there’s something weighing on your mind you want me to cover in a future newsletter. I’m listening, and I’ve got your back.
Warmly,
Jill
